Hmm. Sure am finding this blog a little intimidating when it comes to maintenance. Pictures are the hardest, hence no new uploads of vacation pictures. Also, the written word plastered up there for all to read is even more daunting. "What if I whine too much or am too boring?" Ah the ego of the writer, so absolutely fragile when it comes to criticism...real or perceived!
So a rant it is this fine day...BTW it has only been about 100-104 lately punctuated with wild monsoon storms, just marvelous. Hey, only a Zonie would truly understand that seemingly ludicrous statement.
Being in my premenopausal stage and after 25 years of marriage (come March 31st), I feel an obligation. The rude, obnoxious, wild side of me wants to say WTF (I apologize to those of you with gentle sensibilities but in all honesty this is all I can think of lately...tho I usually only chant the letters in my head NOT the actual words....so again I apologize. Enough said on that). I have this 'fairness meter' inside of me that tilts when justice (as I see it) is not being served. Taking into consideration my tendencies toward control/perfect (for those unfamiliar with the flag page look here https://www.flagpagetest.com/) I know I have to reign in my fix-it-ness at times, BUT now I shake my head over unfairness that I cannot do a blasted thing about. I know praying is an option, as is ignoring it, tho I would rather rant today..so rant I shall do.
So on with it. To married women over 40: Do you feel that frustration deep down inside? Feel anxious & antsy one moment & then complacent or despondent another? Tired of waiting for everything to fall into place even tho you have periods where you are happy to be who you are? Wish there was a manual or seminar you could send your husband to? Maybe even another one to send your children to at the same time? If so I am with ya sister!
I am happier today with who I am, fat/age spots/physical limitations included, and yet am at my most frustrated when I feel the above 'symptons' and watch my fellow sisters in their marriages. This is NOT FAIR!! We did not get to this stage of the game just to lose it all...or live on Xanax. I'm not even talking about neglectful or disengaged husbands. This is for all of them.
Here is the crux of the issue: husbands need to pay closer attention now than they ever have. There is a reason they call these years the danger years. Something happens to women close to 40. We realize that our lives are at least half over. Most of our kids could survive without us. Our parents are gone or ailing or just not as invincible as they once were. We have skills for a life we are not living. Inside we are perilously fragile tho we are stronger than ever as well...the paradox of the Steel Magnolia. After years of living lives in tandem with our mates we may find ourselves either independent & loving it or clingy & needy and hating it...usually the opposite of what we had been or have strived to be.
One of the dangers is in deciding this is a female hormonal issue. Or that this is just a phase or season of life..."This too shall pass". Danger Will Robinson! Do not ignore the warning signs gentlemen!
Does your wife's list of unnatural fears seem to be growing over the years? Then she is not secure in her relationship with you.
Has the importance of hugging & kissing/holding hands/sharing dreams & thoughts/listening & hearing/protecting/edifying/tenderness/kindness/cherishing become trivialized or has been gone for some time? Someone else will be waiting to give it to her. No matter her shape or her personality there is always someone out there ready & willing to give her what she lacks, even if only for a moment. She may successfully fight temptation or she may not. Do you want to take that chance?
Do you understand the 10 cow principle? If so practice it, it works. If not, then adopt it today. It will change your marriage. (This is the best version I could find.) http://www.schooleyfiles.com/2006/10/johnny-lingo-and-ten-cow-wife.html
Do you want to be able to navigate empty-nest syndrome, avoid mid-life divorce, and/or share your retirement years in bliss rather than bitterness? Then be proactive, use those corporate strategies for a higher purpose. Be humble. Prefer another above yourself. Actively love the wife of your youth. Prov. 5:18.
Let's not lose what we have all worked so hard for. We shouldn't grow old together because we 'stuck-it-out'. We should be able to enjoy the fruits of our hard labor & enjoy them together. They call it the golden years for a reason.
I think marriage survival should include a post-debriefing toward the end of our marriage. Pastor Gary Johnson once gave a teaching on finishing our lives well. The bad example was King Solomon. He started well, it ended not so well. Why can't our marriages end the way they started...with promise & love & hope? They can & will be the good example we crave!
End of rant!!
Trish
P.S. Disclaimer (so PC of me): This in no way absolves women of my future rants on their behavior. The End!
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